Perspective

I had trouble sleeping last night. The rooster knocked the hen house door shut in the evening and I didn't get out in time to open it, so they roosted somewhere else, outside. I looked and looked for them with a flashlight, but couldn't find them. The night before I had brought home two new silkies (chickens) and in an effort to slowly integrate them I kept them in a wire dog pen overnight. I got home with them at about nine pm and woke to find the pen drug to the tree line, and both little chickens gone, only feathers, and no sign of forceful entry anywhere. So I was rightfully worried about my chickens and called a friend who brought some live traps down last night. I had trouble sleeping for thinking of them, and for the fact that I kept dreaming that the sugar ants who have invaded my kitchen, and I haven't been able to get rid of, were crawling all over me. I finally woke up this morning because my face was in a wet spot. At first I thought I must have been sleeping with my mouth open and drooled, but my sleepy brain told me that couldn't be right because it was a very large spot and suddenly I was wide awake, because I realized that I had finally found the wet spot that correlated to the wet panties from last night. Yep. Sleep'n in pee-pee. That's me. Mother of twins.

Through a series of circumstances I ended up reading part of a book yesterday that has been on my shelf so long that I don't have any idea when I got it or how long I have owned it. It's called Tortured for Christ: faithful Christians heroically enduring agony, suffering and death in communist prisons by Richard Wurmbrand. This book says that Wurmbrand “spent three years in solitary confinement- seeing no one but his communist tortures. After three years he was transferred to a mass cell for five years, where the torture continued...After eight years he was released and promptly resumed his work with the Underground Church. Two years later, in 1959, he was re-arrested and sentenced to twenty-five years in prison. Mr. Wurmbrand was released in a general amnesty in 1964 and again continued his underground ministry.” 

The following is what I read this morning: “I remember Piotr (Peter). No one knows in what Russian prison he died. He was so young! Perhaps twenty. He had come to Rumania with the Russian army. He was converted in an underground meeting and asked me to baptize him.

After the baptism, I asked him to tell us what verse of the Bible had impressed him most and had influenced him to come to Christ.

He said that he had listened attentively when at one of our secret meeting, I had read Luke 24, the story of Jesus meeting two disciples who went toward Emmaus. When they drew nigh until the village, “He made as though He would have gone further.” Piotr said: “I wonder why Jesus said this. He surely wanted to stay with His disciples. Why then did He say that He wished to go further?” My explanation was that Jesus was polite. He wished to be very sure that He was desired. When He saw that He was welcomed, He gladly entered the house with them. The communists are impolite. They enter by violence into our hearts and minds. They oblige us from morning to late in the night to listen to them. They do it through their schools, radio, newspapers, posters, movie pictures, atheistic meetings and everywhere you turn. You have to listen continuously to their godless propaganda, whether you like it or dislike it. Jesus respects our freedom. He gently knocks at the door. “Jesus had won me by his politeness,” said Piotr. This stark contrast between communism and Christ had convinced him. He was not the only Russian to have been impressed by this feature in Jesus' character. (I, as a pastor, had never thought about it this way.)

After his conversion, Piotr risked his liberty and life again and again to smuggle Christian literature and help for the Underground Church from Rumania to Russia. In the end he was caught. I know that in 1959 he was still in prison. Has he died? Is he already in heaven or is he continuing the good fight on earth? I don't know. Only God knows where he is today.

Like them, many others were not only converted. We should never stop at having won a soul for Christ. By this, you have done only half the work. Every soul won for Christ must be made to be a soul-winner. The Russians were not only converted, but became “missionaries” in the Underground Church. They were reckless and daring for Christ, always saying it was so little they could do for Christ who died for them....

I myself was later in prison together with souls whom God had helped me win for Christ. I was in the same cell with one who had left behind six children and who had was now in prison for his Christian faith. His wife and children were starving. He might never see them again. I asked him, “Have you any resentment again me that I brought you to Christ and because of this you family is in such misery?” He said, “I have no words to express my thankfulness that you have brought me to the wonderful Savior. I would never have it another way.”

Well I have to go, because the rooster is crowing, and I have a possum in a live trap in my yard, right in front of my chicken coop. And I have to make that big batch of sourdough pancakes for breakfast, and get the girls the ready for church, and take a shower, and I sure do hope some hens lived through the night, and not just two roosters and...

And some things in life that feel very important or insurmountable don't matter at all. Isn't a little perspective in our lives a breath of fresh air? Please God help me! Help me be willing to die to myself more each day and be more like you.

Matthew 10:16

Have yo seen the new Disney princess movie "Tangled"? Its cute reworking of the old Rupunzel story, and has some great "one-liners". She is kidnapped as a baby by a woman who is using her, a woman who Rapunzel thinks in her mother. Only in rebellion against this wicked woman does Rapunzel find her true calling and place in life as a (drum roll....) PRINCESS! Cute right? But the movie has some additional very obvious messages for girls. How do you know that the person you call "mom" really loves you? How do you know what the rules she makes and says are for your protection (stay in your tower because it a big bad scary world out here) are really for your good and not designed to just hold you back from all the wonderful things in life? Rebellion may not be easy at times, but if you follow your heart you'll find you're really a pretty pretty princess!
What a lie from the pit of hell in pretty packaging. I know what a lot of you are thinking, "oh, come on! It's JUST a cartoon, lighten up!" Right, so you Christians out there believe that Satan is too honorable to use a lovely cartoon to plant seeds of doubt and rebellion in your three year old daughter's heart that can blossom as you she sneaks out of the your house ten years from now to have sex with her boyfriend...and become a pretty pretty princess too of course? God tells us we are in a war and our enemy wants your soul and the soul of your children to be damned to hell for all of time. There is nothing honorable about the way Satan fights us, and he's not above using ANYTHING to get to you. We're in a war, a war of ideas. Doesn't that sum up a lot of our faith? We all believe and build our lives on something, as Christians we believe we build on the only immovable foundation available, and that Satan makes war on this idea and the people who believe in it. Most Christian parents believe that stories have the potential to plant seeds that can change our lives, or else why do we take our children to Bible class and read them Bible stories? They may not understand it all right now, but God willing they will one day. These stories help to shape their life and their beliefs. Satan plants seeds too (Matt 13:24-30).
We need to learn to look at the message (the moral of the story if you will) and hold it up to the light of scripture and see if it is true. What does the Bible say about following your heart? about rebellion? The Bible doesn't teach us to act as if we immune to the devil's work, but instead to face it head on. We need to be on guard and to teach our children to be also. These are learned skills, souls saving skills, that need to be taught and exercised in our day to day life. But all of this means nothing if you don't know what is really in your children's books and movies. When you watch something with your kids, really watch it, and think about it, and talk about with them. Hardly ever does a movie have all negative messages, Tangled for instance has a strong theme of self-sacrificing love. Talk about the truth and the lies, but the main point is to talk about it. I know at some point, if you have active readers in your house it's not possible to know about everything they are influenced by. But that's a very good reason to teach your children these skills and to trust the word of God above all other things. We need a standard to compare things too, and the Bible is that perfect unchanging ruler.So where does this leave us on an issue of a cute cartoon like Tangled? I think that depends a lot on you, God, and the children involved. Some girls are too young or too easily influenced to grapple with these issues properly, and yet are very fertile soil for these lies to be sown in and bloom another day. For others this would be a perfect venue for conversation and exercising critial thinking skills. Staying alert and being engaged in this war takes an exhausting amount of vigilance. Are you willing to pick up your sword even at home?

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

Happy Late Mother's Day: Beyond This Land of Parting

I sing hymns a lot through the day. I started it when the girls were very little, when I was getting not sleep and mad as a March hare. It gave me a sort of anchor in all the insanity. And still, singing hymns helps me to stay focused on the important things in life and keep perspective, which can be hard to do if you have little ones howling at you all day. I'd highly recommend it as a way of life for any believer. So anyway, I was singing "Beyond This Land of Parting" which is an old hymn you may or may not know (you can listen to it here if you would like to). The girls were particularly fussy that day. They followed me around all day, tripping over each other (still working on walking), trying to get me, and "wailing and weeping". That's the only way I could think of to describe it. So slowly a new verse for this old hymn started to form its self out of my day.

Far beyond the crying, wailing, and weeping
Far beyond the diapers darkening this,
And far beyond the dishes laundry and teething
Lies a summer land of bliss

LOL, cause sometimes you just have to grit you teeth and say, "I'm going to heaven!" And when I'm there I will be glad of all these opportunities for self sacrificing service to others. I hope all you mothers had a wonderful day! LOVEc

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
Colossians 3:16

Making the most of your New Year

I love the New Year. It may actually be my favourite holiday...though I don't really think of it as a holiday so much. For me, the New Year is about a fresh start, a blank slate. Just typing those words makes my heart beat just a little bit faster. Do you have any idea how much I need a blank slate? What an amazing thing to be able to shake the dust off and run to Jesus for a do-over. THAT is what January is all about for me.This is the perfect time of year to stop and take stock of where you have been, where you are going, and where you want to be. It's so easy to get off track, to not be the person you want to be, to not live your convictions in the day to day. I was e-mailed some ideas for looking over the past year and I think they are worth sharing. These ideas come from Doug Phillips, the founder of The Vision Forum.
1.Out line and chronicle the many blessings of God
You might consider making this a family event. When I read through the Old Testament I see time and time again that God wanted His people to mark the ways He worked in their lives and share it with the coming generations. I know how easy it is to forget the ways God works in my life. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have family traditions of honouring the way God has worked in your life? Phillips suggested looking through your bills, paper work, photos, news paper clippings, calendars, blog and journals to help you think about the past year. He also gave a list he uses to consider the previous year. You might use it to come up with your own list.

1. Where did I/we travel?
2. What were the most important sermons I heard this year?
3. What books/articles did I write?
4. What significant household projects did we accomplish in 2010?
5. What were the most important meetings of the year?
6. What special friendships were made this year?
7. Which children lost teeth, and how many?
8. Who grew in physical stature, and how much did they grow?
9. Who learned to read this year?
10. What diet and physical exercise regimen did I maintain to honor “my temple”?
11. What books did I read? Did we read as a family? Did my children read?
12. What Scriptures did my family memorize?
13. What loved ones died this year?
14. What were the great personal/ministry/national tragedies and losses of the year?
15. What were the great personal/ministry/national blessings of the year?
16. What were my most significant failures/sins for the year 2010?
17. What commitments have I made to overcome sin in 2011?
18. What significant spiritual and practical victories did I experience?
19. In what tangible ways did I communicate gratitude to those who have blessed me and invested in my life?
20. What are the top ten themes of 2010 for my family?
    

2. Say thank you to the people who have invested in you life
Sit down and write them all a note. Be specific in your thanks. Pray over each note. Consider giving them something tangible as a thanks.
3. Forgive those who have wronged you

I'm hoping with the help of some child care to set aside some time to think over this past years in all its glory and failure, and to recognize the path I am on, and where I wish I was. 2010 has been full of mountain tops and deep dark valleys. God has certainly taken me places I never dreamed of going. I hope you to will be able to carve out a little bit of time to recognize what God has done in the past year and lay the foundation for a purposeful new year. I pray it will be glorious. c

Love of lists

I've been thinking; thinking of how hard it to be purposeful about my live sometimes, to live consciously, even when I have so much to be conscious of it's still hard. How hard it can be to not be swallowed up by the bog of daily minutia! Sometimes just living daily aware of the little gifts is a struggle. But I think I'm a better person when I do. So I started thinking about all the little things that inspire me...inspire me to happiness, rejoicing, contentment, giving, loving, and patience. It's amazing how small they can be, and yet some of them are so big. Noticing the good things in my daily life helps me to live so much better in the big things. It helps me keep life in perspective.
I can't help loving lists, all sorts of lists for everything...and that's where my thoughts ended up. So here's the list of things big and little that inspire me (to help me stay focused):
1. Seeing, really really seeing. Looking up, at the clouds, the sunsets, the flight of birds. Noticing the way the light falls and the way it's quality changes with the time of day and the time of year and the place. Spending a little of every day enjoying nature, even if its only a very small piece of it. Looking for that one small, sacred, beautiful gift from God among all the ugliness if I have to. Enjoying the richness of textures around me. Good artwork, pictures that relax, inspire, or transport me, pictures that help me remember the people I love and the places I have been.
2. Music. It can changes the mood, lift up and transport or settle me down. Make me dance. Help me praise. It can make sunshine where there is none, and help disagreeable tasks pass quickly.
3. Eating. Good food, not fast food. Chopping it and roasting it and mixing it. Noticing the way a warm cup of tea makes me relax. Savoring the tastes and smells; eating slowly. Sharing these things with others and watching them enjoy.
4. Reading. It can relax and rejuvenate. It changes me, helps me walk a mile in someone else's shoes. It instructs. It helps me dream. And there is really no book like the Bible for inspiration.
5. Making. Baking. Digging. Knitting. Writing. Sewing. Planning it all. Even cleaning...at times.
6. Forgiveness. Few things strengthen my resolve more than true un-begrudged forgiveness. I don't always do better the next time around, but it keeps me trying.
7. Looking nice. Such a silly one, yet it can mean so much. Wearing happy colors on a cloudy day. Putting on mascara. Getting a hair cut. Painting my toes. These silly little things make me feel differently, better, about myself, affecting the way I interact with the world.
8. Prayer. It's were I take my burdens, joy, hurt, discouragement, failure, heart break, exhaustion. It's where I get refueled.
9. People. Some times they make you want to be more, they help you to know that you could be more, because they are more. Some times they make you so frustrated you are inspired to be nothing like them- the complete opposite. Some times you love them so much it changes everything about your life.
10. God. He's so giving, loving, patience, just... He's so much more than I can ever be, yet He's everything I want to be. Getting to know Him better, helps me to understand more who I am, how I should live. And certainly all the other gifts come from him.
What inspires you?
(For another fun list check out Rae's list of HOW TO PLAY and STILL DO your WORK)
May God bless you with and inspired and purposeful day! c

Catch up

I've been waiting for the dust (and my head) to clear before I posted an update about the latest development of our lives...and there always seems to be some change of plans. I've decided that God really wants me to be flexible and not so much of a control freak. The Man is under contract till the end of this month (contract equals pay check) and we fully expected a renewal contract to start this October and run for 12 months (can you see where things are heading??). But we found out about three weeks ago, right around the same time we found out we were having twins, that it looks like this contract won't come through until this coming January. It's all rather confusing, but in the end it means that we will be homeless and have no income for at least the next three months, if not longer. So. Yeah.

In reality it's not quite as dismal as it seems on the surface. Now that the house has sold we are completely out of debt, and by the end of the month we should have reached our savings goal to start building. So we have talked with my parents who have an extra room, and the plan is to move in with them. The Man will use these three months to work on the house and get as much done as he can. This part could certainly be a blessing as getting the house finished before he deploys has really been his only worry.

The truly amazing part is that I not freaking out. As crazy as things can get in our lives, I'm forced to remember what wonderful plans God makes for me and how faithful and loving he has been...and my husband is the same way. All this is not to say that I haven't had some freak out moments...cause I have! But thankfully I haven't gotten stuck there.

I really had to laugh when I thought of everything that is going on. I always said I just couldn't have twins...AND I just couldn't move back in with my parents. Moral of the story: just keep your mouth shut, lol. Blessings!c

photo shoot

These are some images from a photo shoot I did a couple of weeks ago. Some of them turned out so good I wanted to share. You can see me in the eyes of the middle shot :) The little sister in the last picture has an amazing life story. She's from Siberia. I'm afraid I don't remember all the details clearly, so you'll have to forgive me if I don't get it quite right. This is how I remember the story anyway. She was found on the streets before the age of two trying to get food from a dog. She's deaf, at least in part due to that experience. If she had not been adopted by five years old they system there would have marked her as un-adoptable because of her disability and she would have lived out the rest of her days in an institution. Instead God brought her into a large American family, all of whom sign and a few others are also deaf. She has implants now and is beginning to hear. A sweeter more lively friendly little think you never saw. It was all The Man could do to keep from bringing her home, lol, he would LOVE to have some little daughters. There's lots of news here at the home front. I'll try and post an update soon. Blessings!c

Happy Tuesday!

Things have been moving around here, and I'm working to keep up with life. There has been a death, and a wedding, dinners, colds, baptisms (lots of them), house sitting, babysitting, a photo shoot or two, visiting with friends, making new friends, all of LOST season 3 (it's sucking my life dry, and I get so frustrated with it, but The Man and I can't stop watching, lol), lots of friends with pain and personal problems...who we have been trying to lift up and encourage in some way, and lots of prayers these days.
But, the biggest thing going on around here right now is that THE HOUSE IS UNDER CONTRACT AGAIN! Whoo-hoo! I'm praying this thing all the way through the end. Please, please God let this sale go through! We had the house back up on the market with the new realtor and within six days had the news of a potential offer...a few counter offers later and here we are. I've had a much better feeling about everything this time around. Please, please join us in praying that all this goes through as planned; you could bless us in no greater way right now.
In between all these things we've been pinching pennies to save for building, and dreaming like mad. We're working on our house plan, which is coming along pretty well. I've been researching everything from geothermal heat pumps to chicken breeds. But I'll have to tell you more about all that some other time....cause there is so much to be told and so much to learn. The Man has some out of town work and it looks like I will be able to go with him to it; sort of make it a little mini vacation, which I'm really looking forward to. I will be by myself during the day; for years and years I said I wanted to take a vacation and just read, so that's my plan for this trip...and a little time in the pool would be nice too. I have a whole stack of books I plan on checking out of the library to bring with us, and almost all of it is research stuff for this next phase of our lives. Hopefully things will start calming down soon and I can get back to some regular blogging. Until then be blessed! c

Trust in the Lord and do good; inhabit the land and practice faithfulness. Have your delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit you way to the LORD; trust in Him too and He will bring it about.

High places

(photo of the view from the top of the hill on the little piece of land we bought)

It's been a busy and productive week. The house is back on the market again, and I feel a lot better about it this time. I have gotten a little behind on my daily Bible reading, but only about six days. I'm determined to read through the whole book this year, and ingrain the habit of daily reading and fellowship deep in me...so I keep plowing forward, determined to catch-up. I'm using a daily Bible with a reading from the Old and New Testaments, one from Psalms, and one from Proverbs every day. Right now I'm in 2Kings. There's one phrase that keeps coming up again and again in recounting the lives of the good kings of Israel of Judah and it goes something like this: ______(enter king's name) did what was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father had done, except that the high places were not removed. The "high places" were hills and mountain tops where the people would go and sacrifice and worship God, and sometimes other gods too. But God had specifically told them not to do this (Deut 12:13-14 & Joshua 22). The people were not to offer God just any sort of worship and sacrifices, but instead submit to God's requests from them. And it started me wondering. What are my high places? What are things I do simply because they are comfortable and familiar, because my "fathers" did it too. Where are the places in my life I never considered changing...but God's wants me to change, so the generation after me won't make the same mistakes simply because I did. Or even more frightening than that, the high places were often like a "gate-way-sin" which lead to far more heinous things, like human sacrifice in future generations. I pray He helps me to find my high places!

"And he (Hezekiah) did what was right in the sight of the Lord, according to all that his father David had done. He removed the high places and broke into pieces the bronze serpent that Moses had made; for until those days the children of Israel burned incense to it, and called it Nehushtan. He trusted in the LORD God of Israel, so that after him was none like him among all the kings of Judah, nor who were before him. For he held fast to the LORD; he did not depart from following him, but kept His commandments..."

2Kings 18: 3-6

struggling

There is so much going on these days. When The Man and I got married I told him that it felt like we were marrying at the start of The Great Depression...not knowing what is coming next. I know people who are doing just fine, maybe scared but just fine. I also know people who are pounding the street looking for a job, who's businesses are falling apart, who have lost their house or who might soon. Sometimes these problems are because of choices they have made, and some times they are not. My heart hurts for these friends and my prayers stand with them. Yet, I see so much spiritual hope in hard times. I've been reading through the life of David in the past few weeks, and I was struck with the fact that he seemed to stand closest to God when everything in his life was falling apart. He fell farthest from God in a time of great success and personal security.
The friends I know who are living though hard times right now; they really love the Lord, and as I watch them I see them walk away from their problems with great spiritual riches. I seem them blessed by the loving care of our Father.
I've also been thinking of some stories of great hope I have read these days. I like to read a blog of a mother of 15, well the 15th is on the way. She tells the story of how her husband was out of work for two years, in which time they got pregnant with their 15th, and God always provided. She also tells another story of how when they were a family of 11 they all happily lived in a house under a 1,000 square feet, and she home schooled at the same time. As Americans we often need reminders of the simplicity of contentment. You can read her stories here and here.
I mentioned a while back that I had been reading The Trapp Family Singers. I was reading it when I found out I was pregnant, and was at the time rather freaked out by how much baby things cost and the fact that The Man didn't have any regular work at the time. Then I read chapter VI in that book, which talks about how after they had escaped Europe to America after Austria was taken by Hitler they were refused renewal work visas, much to their surprise. So, their family of 12 (nine children, one priest, and two parents) used the last of their money to buy passage back to Europe, and managed to get a few concerts booked, but that's all they knew. Maria says, "From the day in March when we left on the Nornamdie to that day in October when we set foot on American soil again we learned a lesson, the greatest of them all. In Bible English it is called:" Be not solicitous," and translated into everyday language, it means: "Do not worry"...And this half year was set apart for teaching us this lesson, that we should never forget it in the future. There we were, a group of twelve people and a little baby who, for the next seven months had no home, and except for six concerts which would provide for three weeks' living, did not know the answer to the question: what shall we eat, what shall we drink? The political horizon was filled with dark clouds; the outbreak of the war seemed imminent, the atmosphere in Europe was full of suspicion and mistrust; we didn't know a soul in the Scandinavian countries, not any of the languages; the permission to stay was carefully restricted by every country to the time necessary to give our concerts...It would have been easy for God to show us the plan for this period, as He had it all fixed up, how there would be enough concerts, enough money, extensions of our stay, helpful people, generous invitations, new friends, and new love. But then we again would not have learned that most valuable lesson, so He left us in the dark, and gave us only one thing at a time. We always spent the cent before the last before we got a new engagement. "

"And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature. As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience."

May you be in good soil. Blessings!c

the future

Well. We are buying the land today. We signed all the documents at the lawyer's this morning. I'm too dazed right now to be excited. But there is really so much to be excited about. This is part of the dream I latched onto when we lost the baby. In fact this pic was taken out at the land just days after we lost the baby. You can see the barn in the back ground. There is a spring that comes right out of the rocks on our land. Huh. "Our land." I have to get used to that. This feels a lot like when the plane wheels hit the tarmack in Paris after dreaming about the trip for so long; like the reality couldn't possibly be better than the dream. Yet it was. The reason we both loved this land so much is that we could both see our lives there; see our children playing there. We have such dreams, The Man and I. Marry someone you love to dream with. I can't wait to tell you all about our dreams! They really are so very good, if I must so say. But right now I'm sitting at my desk, thinking about trying to work some, dreaming to this about being out in the country, in our home on the hill.

Life

I'm still trying to adjust to our new daily routine. There are so many chores to get done in our short evenings, and I'm trying to adjust to seeing The Man less in the evenings. So life is busy right now but good. I have to say that I love working at home. I love that the things I do are so wrapped up in this man that I love so very much and not some money grubbing corporation. I would love it even more if I could find the time to sit down and knit a couple of rows after work and before I start all my home work, but The Man is scheduled to be gone for schools a lot during May, so before I know it I will have too much time on my hands. In doing some of my 'home work' the other day I started thinking about some of the little decisions we have made which have helped us save money and live more sustainably. I find it fun to see how little decisions starting adding up to lower bills or a whole new way of life. So I thought I would share some of these little things; you have probably thought of them all, nothing earth shattering for sure, but if you have ideas which aren't on here post them in the comments. Blessings!c

• As you can see we try to hang out the laundry. It drys SO fast here in the south. We don't live in a place where we can leave our line out, so sometimes there just isn't the time to string up the line. Oh and they smell so good, and there are no wrinkles in the sheets like my dryer gives them.
• I filled up a 2 liter with water and placed it in the water tank of the toilet, so it doesn't take as much water to flush and fill up the tank.
• I unplug all appliances but the refrigerator and the wash/dryer when I am not using them. This includes the TV, VCR, computer, radios. I was amazed to see my electrical bill drop from this.
• The Man has a job so close to the house that he can bike to work.
• We kept the heat at the mid to low 60s in the winter (and wore sweaters and the crocheted house shoes my grandmother makes) and the cooling at the upper 70s in the summer. We would adjust this to accomidate any guest we had over. The blinds stay open during the day in the winter and closed in the during the day in the summer. This really does make a big difference if your place is in the sun. If the days are hot and the nights are cool I open a few windows at night, one downstairs and one upstairs. I put a box fan blowing out of the house upstairs, so the cool air gets pulled all through the house from window downstairs and out the window upstairs. It would probably work better if I had two box fans.
• Ceiling fans make a world of difference & if you use the switch on the fan you can actually make a room feel warmer in the winter by using them, since hot air rises.
• I try and use the oven for more than one thing at a time, like baking cookies and roasting potatoes at the same time. A baking day is a good idea so you get a lot of things done, but you only have to preheat the oven once.
• When a bulb goes out replace it with one of the new Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs. A buy them when they are sale. Also look for coupons; I've run across a few in our paper.
• Compost. You can build a bin, buy a fancy one, and just start a "pile" like we had when I was a kid. Anything biodegradable goes in there: banana peels, egg shells, apple cores, coffee grounds, grass clippings, leaves, etc. In the fall or spring mix it into your flower beds or vegetable garden for a natural cheep fertilizer.
• Bring your own bags to shop. I have had the WORST time forming this habit! I finally have remembered to bring in my own bags by writing it across the top of my grocery list.
• Check the weather stripping around the doors and the windows for drafts and replace or caulk if needed.
• We bought a SIGG for each of use and fill up with filtered water at the house before we hit the road. We've been using them now for a little over six months and really like them. These bottles and others are supposed to be good for you since they don't leach any weird stuff out into your water like the cheep plastic bottles do.

Well I know there must be other things, but I can't think of them right now!

Be the change you want to see

There is a little village in India that I can’t get out of my head. Listen to the story here if you have the time…it was very interesting and there are some pictures there worth looking at. But in case you don’t have time here is the short story. In the 60’s and 70’s the world was afraid India was going to fall apart, because it was ravaged by poverty and discontent. So a group of scientist and other people got together and said they had an answer for the poor rural areas; “The Green Revolution” they called it. They gave them high yield modern seeds, chemical fertilizers and farming equipment. And it worked. Today the people don’t live in mud huts anymore. They are not just feeding themselves, but are making some profit. But there was a catch. They had to irrigate these modern corps. It was no problem the first year. The villagers could put pumps right on the ground the water table was so high, then they had to dig ten foot wells, then 30 feet, and every year the water table continued to drop. Today they are digging wells far below 200 feet. What are they going to do now with a village full of farmers running out of water and a whole generation who doesn’t know how to farm and feed themselves in a sustainable way? What will they do? If any of the people who supported and implemented this Green Revolution are still alive, how do they feel about all this? They may not have had completely altruistic motives, but certainly they didn’t wish this to happen.
The more I thought over this story the more I realized that this situation has implications for my life. We need to be careful what we support. So many things sound good on the surface, and yet with study, thought, and pray and found to be unprofitable paths. My Irish great grandfather sent money back to the ‘ld country supporting the Irish Republican Army, deceived by their title and not realizing what they were doing with his money. We need to understand what defines the things we support, and then try to think as critically as we can about where these things lead. To say this is difficult is an understatement. An understanding of history and current events really helps. We can avoid so many pitfalls if we are willing to learn from history. Issues need to be studied for every possible vantage point. Read and listen to people you completely disagree with, listen to people outside your culture, and critical thinkers who have lived longer than you, engage in debate with informed individuals. Even if something is a good cause that leads to long healthy paths doesn't mean it's a cause you need to take up. You need to seek God's face and see what He is calling you to.
These principles don’t just apply to large international projects. I think they are more practically applied to our everyday lives. What do you see as a cultural problem present in your life? Are they small or big changes you can make to help fix those problems? Over the years I’ve decided that I no longer want to support Wal-Mart, McDonalds, or television and their commercial advertising. I do want to support lower energy costs, local farmers, food products made without preservatives, hormones, and generally words I can’t pronounce, fair trade coffee, and paper towels and toilet paper made from recycled paper. These are things I feel like I can do in my day to day that help support better long term paths. I don’t go crazy about these positions though. There have been a few times in the past year that I needed to go to Wal-Mart. I don’t ask other people to turn off the their tv if I am visiting. I eat out where the foods are full of hormones and preservatives and the coffee is not fair trade. And I know there are so many other causes I could take up in my day to day, so many other stores or products I could justifiably boycott. I need to maintain a personal life that is sustainable, just as those farmers in India needed a sustainable system. But what good what it do anyone if I get so overwhelmed by all the good things I could do that I do nothing?

It's amazing how life can make you feel like you want to go live in a safe little box on a hill somewhere sometimes. Do you know what I mean? Life just turns into one thing after another after another and you just think, "AHHHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE! I WANT A BREAK! Can't I just go on a sabbatical or something???"

This week has been kind of tough, in ways that have nothing to do with our baby (because seriously I really needed something else on my plate at this moment, right?) I have a rather knee jerk impatient personality. I make decisions quickly, and if something needs to be done and no one is willing to step up, then by-gum I'll just step in and lead out. As with most all character traits this can be both a blessing and a curse. The curse comes when I feel like there is a problem that God or my husband aren't addressing or taking care of, and suddenly I feel like if I don't step up to the plate and take charge everything in my world will fall apart..."Ahh! Just give it back to me!!! I can take care of it! (eye roll)". Do you know that spirit at all? I know it so well. Yet I KNOW this is not a safe way to think of act, and it's not what God would have me do, not who God would have me be. Character and habit are a hard thing to reshape though. I don't want to have a heart full of panic day after day. Worry is a sin, period. So I talk to The Man and I talk to God and I set my face to be the person God wants me to be, a person filled with peace and faith, and I start again. I've had a sticky note with this verse on my computer at work for years. This is who I want to be...

"Trust in the Lord and do good

inhabit the land and practice faithfulness.

Have you delight in the LORD

and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the LORD;

trust in Him too and He will bring it about."

6 Month

Over dinner on our road trip home The Man and I began musing over how close we are to our six month wedding anniversary and how quickly the time has gone. The thought 'I hope the next six are as happy' formed in my head, and as I was about to say this I stopped. Wait a minute! Is that really what I want? I told The Man what I was thinking and he promptly exclaimed, "You're crazy! They've been wond...Humm....Well, maybe you are right..."

Silently we thought over the hard things of the last six months. There was that dramatic hormonal change I went though, which was hard on both of us, and those personal demons of mine that resurfaced and had to be dealt with, and still do. There was the death of The Man's Grandpa. I held him in my arms as his heart broke. I can still see his face, set as a stone and warm with tears, as the soldiers handed him that triangle flag to present to his Grandmother. And my own personal heart break as I recognized that one day, if I lived long enough, I would stand on that very same hill and hear the guns fire, watch the solemn salutes, and be handed my own triangle flag in honor of my beloved husband. And this was followed my a renewed determination to love him, enjoy him, and bless him as much as I could every single day, and to praise, love, and honor God in the loss of The Man or any of my loved ones. There was that whole month apart, well, a whole month minus that one night. And then there is the loss of our baby. And The Man held me in his arms as my heart broke.

I looked up and our eyes connected. Yes, the past six months held a lot of hard things. Yet. Yet we are so happy, and blessed, and joy filled. I don't think I have ever been more so. God has walked with us through all this, through the valley of the shadow of death. I stand closer to God and closer to my man than I ever have before, and I take so much joy from both of them! I understand more than ever that the joy of the Lord is my strength. I know I need to grow so much more, but I feel almost as if I have had a glimpse through that heavy curtain to the holy of holies, a glimpse of what my life could be if I could truly lay it down, truly give him everything. What a blessing the hard things can be.

The Son

I hate daylight savings time. Really hate it. I would vote for someone who's platform was abolishing the foolish thing...so I thought I would post a little sunshine joy. And by the way, if you have time, click on the picture above and check out the large version of this photo. The textures are so lovely to me...feel free to use it as a desk top for your computer if you would like.

"The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it. On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there. The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it. Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life."

That is a verse about heaven...how perfect is it that in the world to come God is the center of that world, the source of heat, light, nourishment, health, and enlightenment. That image fills me with such hope and delights.

Text message from The Man

Ur dog is utterly insane.

He just started brkng,

growling, like he was

gonna eat someone.

I went dwnstrs, and he

was brking at ur camera.

Cultivating gratitude

"This is nothing compared to the twig incident of 93!" -A Bug's Life

I know God must look at my "incidents" much like this. This past Saturday the bread wouldn't rise, I started at 7 am and didn't have bread till 2 or 3. At one point I "kneaded" it by banging it on the counter, which seemed to help both the bread and me quite a bit. I bit myself eating two times, or maybe it was three. Baked the scones at 200 not realizing the recipe was in Celsius! (The whole time I was thinking, 'this is so weird, I don't think I ever baked anything so low!'), the sheet cake turned out majorly lop-sided, because the oven isn't level (it was baking day at my house in case you haven't caught on). I had a sinus head cold. AND I slipped down the stairs and landed on my back.
It's days like this where little things go wrong again and again and people ask me all sort of questions, and need me to do this and that, and be there on time, that the twig snaps for me, and I completely loose my temper. It's a character problem. I'm working on it, praying about it all the time, training myself to be better than my instincts. I want to be better than this for my kids. I did a lot better this weekend than I would have months ago.
For this I'm thankful.
And For twig days, that give me the opportunity to grow and do better, I am thankful.

"And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?”

Clothes

The Man has already fixed the car, to my utter amazement. We just have to see about getting it painted. Despite everything it's been a good week. I ran across this story, in a blog on modesty, which has the most fetching (isn't that a fun word to say, lol) clothes I've seen in a while, at reasonable prices too. The web sight says that 5% of any purchase goes to support widows and orphans in different places in the world, which I thought was great. http://www.christa-taylor.com/ So have fun looking at the girl eye candy and I hope you too get to spend the weekend with people you love. Blessings!c

And just to balance things out...

And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

So.

I wreck my car yesterday. Yep. Wasn't part of the plan. Yes, I'm fine.
Looked up in the rear view mirror in tight 5'oclock traffic
Looked back at traffic
AHHH they are stopped!
Slam on the brakes
Wham.
Crunched the front bumper and hood and radiator and one of the belts and don't know what else. Dented the bumper of the car in front of me. Managed not to cry until The Man was driving me home, and then big crocodile tears one by one ran down my face. I hate all the trouble one moment can cause, insurance, repairs, towing it home, getting back and forth to work. *sigh* But one thing I found out of all this that The Man is really The Man. Never yelled at me and didn't even get frustrated, held my hand and wiped away all my tears, told me that all that mattered was that I was safe (when it certainly didn't feel like that was all that mattered). What a blessing it is to have someone there to pick up the pieces and hold you together when your world falls apart.