It's amazing how life can make you feel like you want to go live in a safe little box on a hill somewhere sometimes. Do you know what I mean? Life just turns into one thing after another after another and you just think, "AHHHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE! I WANT A BREAK! Can't I just go on a sabbatical or something???"
This week has been kind of tough, in ways that have nothing to do with our baby (because seriously I really needed something else on my plate at this moment, right?) I have a rather knee jerk impatient personality. I make decisions quickly, and if something needs to be done and no one is willing to step up, then by-gum I'll just step in and lead out. As with most all character traits this can be both a blessing and a curse. The curse comes when I feel like there is a problem that God or my husband aren't addressing or taking care of, and suddenly I feel like if I don't step up to the plate and take charge everything in my world will fall apart..."Ahh! Just give it back to me!!! I can take care of it! (eye roll)". Do you know that spirit at all? I know it so well. Yet I KNOW this is not a safe way to think of act, and it's not what God would have me do, not who God would have me be. Character and habit are a hard thing to reshape though. I don't want to have a heart full of panic day after day. Worry is a sin, period. So I talk to The Man and I talk to God and I set my face to be the person God wants me to be, a person filled with peace and faith, and I start again. I've had a sticky note with this verse on my computer at work for years. This is who I want to be...
"Trust in the Lord and do good
inhabit the land and practice faithfulness.
Have you delight in the LORD
and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in Him too and He will bring it about."